Long Live Consumer Culture!

Brian Wood

by Marcia Allass

1. If someone were to make a movie of your life, what genre would it fall under, and who would play you?

It would be a sappy, sad, 20-something drama, like a Drawn & Quarterly comic come to life. Cast Johnny Depp as me, but only if you shaved his head and uglied him up a decent amount. Julie Doucet would draw the comic adaptation, to be published by D&Q.

2. What is your greatest fear or phobia?

Being alone, I think. I enjoy my personal time and privacy as much as the next guy, but in general, in life, I fear that I wouldn't have someone to share things with. But my current relationship is great, Michelle is a sweetie, so I don't envision this fear becoming an issue.

3. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done while drunk?

Made passes at friends, as unoriginal as that may be. Generally just being a dick, saying things I shouldn't, stuff like that. I have my fair share of puke stories, but once you take that plunge and slobber over a friend, you can pretty much kiss that friendship goodbye.

All that is from the past, of course. I am not quite the drinker I used to be.

4. What/who do you love?

Michelle and my cats. My apartment. Yummy warm food. Fresh Taro bubble tea. Thick books, messenger bags, woolly socks, and quiet Sundays. I also love violence on TV, politics, bad storms, and civil unrest, but all that stuff I love in a voyeuristic sort of way. I love to WATCH SHIT GO DOWN.

5. What/who do you hate?

Dumb people. I know that sounds very politically incorrect, but when people are so dense and/or under-educated to the point where they can't behave themselves, be polite, and be nice to people, fuck them all.

This extends to idiots like racists, Klan members, religious freaks, pro-lifers, republicans - anyone who is unable or unwilling to open their eyes and realize what is happening around them. I hate them all.

6. What book is currently on your bedside table?

I have the second Invisibles TPB, as well as some Stewart Home and Richard Allen skinhead books, and The Football Factory by John King. I have other assorted novels that live inside my bag, which I read on trains and during slow moments at work. My washroom contains several random comics and a few of Michelle's magazines, such as Wallpaper, and Face.

7. What is your favorite swear word?

Fuck. I am quite prone to bursting out a FUCK! when things go wrong. I am also fond of calling people shitheads and cocksuckers. I swear at people on the TV a lot. I jokingly call people I am friends with bastards.

8. Have you ever read a comic book backwards or upside down? Did it make sense? What title, and why?

Don't think I have ever tried that. I think I would be afraid of opening up a portal or something, or summoning some long lost ghosty.

9. What job would you least like to have to do?

In comics? Drawing REALLY hard shit. I did some samples for Vertigo ages ago, and it was a few pages from The Invisibles. Jesus, it was a struggle! As much as I would love to have drawn something like that, I know my limitations, and that job would have driven me insane.

Not in comics? Anything with numbers. I hate math and suck at it.

10. What is your favorite piece of pop culture?

Junk food with clever packaging. Like Nerds, or Pringles. Or Fruit Roll-ups. They are like little cultural artefacts that sit in your hand, being cute and convenient.

11. New Millennium: Overblown tripe or hip new future?

New future! Death and destruction! The rich getting richer! The poor getting poorer! Perpetually online! We multi-task in our sleep! The decline of America and the rise of other foreign powers! Fine Art dies! Commerce is the new Art! Money becomes worth next to nothing, and therefore becomes the most valuable thing in the world! Starbucks markets bubbletea! McDonald's debuts McPotstickers and McCongee!

The Future is not grime and static-y TVs and mega-corporations, its laziness and beige and confusing-so-why-bother. More of the same, just faster and more expensive, outsourced and imported, streamed and/or as an attachment! Long live Consumer Culture!

12. Describe the strangest encounter you've ever had with a fan.

No real bizarre encounters to speak of. Sometimes I get people talking to me about politics, or I will get some really extreme leftist emails, from readers who assume I am communist, or that I at least share the political views of my characters.

I get requests to be interviewed by LOTS of zines and small presses I have never heard of, and at times the questions get pretty freaky, but all in all, its been pleasant fan encounters.

13. What do you say when people at parties ask you what you do for a living?

I downplay everything. Oh yeah, I do web design, and Michelle has to correct me with more details. I think its because I am never satisfied with my current position. I have an attention span the size of nothing, and I am always thinking about the next project. There is so much I want to do in life, what's in the future always overshadows what I am doing in the present.

That's what you get from a wasted childhood watching cartoons.

www.brianwood.com

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